My wife and I have been married for four years and we are deeply in love. The only problem we have is financially. She has been unemployed the last three years and things are tough on us as we are barely able to squeak by. She claims she’s looked for work but checking the mileage on her car I’ve noticed she’s put less than 10 miles on the car the past two weeks. When I ask her about it she starts crying and makes me feel guilty for asking. She’s my best friend and makes me happy, however what money I had put away when we first got married is almost used up and unless our financial situation changes we’re going to have to move home with one of our parents. What should I do?
Love doesn’t pay the bills. Sorry. Sounds like she’s expecting you to foot all the bills. While this was great for her parents and her parent’s parents in the modern world the one income family is pretty much a thing of the pass. What has she been doing in her abundant spare time? Buying lottery tickets? And what about you? Is there any advancement in the career path you’re on or are you wasting your time? It might be time for you two to go back to school if neither of you have a degree. Perhaps you need training in a field that is always hiring like healthcare and IT. Grants, scholarships and loans are available so there isn’t immediate out of pocket expenses. Otherwise you will be joining your other millennial friends and living in you mom’s basement.
I am a new member of a small, local organization. We have an email group. Occasionally a member will post information that has nothing directly to do with the organization, usually political in nature. These political emails and petitions offend me. They in no way reflect my beliefs and politics. What should I do?
Put on your big boy pants and act like a grownup. The real world doesn’t care about your feelings or insecurities. It’s a big, big world out there and not everyone has the same opinions or thoughts. Part of joining an organization is being able to exchange different opinions and lines of reasoning. If you are that offended by a political post grab your safety pin, find you safe space and stick your head into the sand.
My boyfriend of 10 years and I split last autumn. He had cheated on me and lied about it. We had no contact for many months. Recently he has stopped in to visit to “see how I was doing.” He is still with the other woman but does not speak well of her. I know that I should not let him in but I do because I am still not over him. I am still attracted to him. We only talk when he visits, no sex. He stares at me continuously when he is here and always kisses me when he leaves. Why is he visiting me now?
Buyer’s remorse. They say the grass is always greener on the other side until you get there. He thought he was either upgrading or saw something in these other women until reality sunk in. Despite you getting hurt you are now in the driver’s seat. You are now in control of whatever kind of relationship you have with your ex. I would stay away unless the two of you can actually be friends – and not with benefits and if you give into temptation you’re proving to him that he is in control of your emotions and actions.
My best friend and I like to dress and act punk. My parents don’t like it because they say that it is not good for me spiritually and some of the ideas go against our family faith. I like dressing in black and promise them I won’t go too far. But they tell me that I cannot wear all black and stud belts and necklaces. How can I deal with this? I don’t want to follow their rules.
Your dilemma makes me laugh. To almost quote Marky Ramone of the greatest punk rock bands punk is a lifestyle. Just because you dress “punk” doesn’t make you a punk. Sounds like you have a little rebellious streak and that’s fine. Rebellion is good – be yourself, express your opinion but remember everyone else in this country is entitled to their opinion and more than likely they’re not the same as yours. Fashion is like most things. They tend to change over time and it is nothing your parents should be worried about. Look at all of our moms that once had that poodle cool in all their ‘80s pictures. Dress as you like as long as you’re being yourself and not tryig to just fi tin and from what you tell me, you’re not.
Rocco is a common sense, tell-it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org or drop him a line at Ask Rocco c/o Enigma P.O. Box 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401.