Bad Romance

Dear Rocco,
I seem to bounce around from one bad relationship to the other. It doesn’t look like there are any decent guys out there. I’m tired of being taken advantage of and abused mentally by men. Why can’t a find a decent guy to go out with?

Dear FK,
Quit going out with idiots. There are plenty of good men out there = some even reading the same thing and wondering why they can’t find a good woman. We put too much emphasis on ideals and unrealistic romance in books, movies and even some music. Look right under your nose. The guy you just dismissed for whatever reason might have been a great guy. Quit trying to have a storybook romance and write one of your own. That way you are guaranteed the happy ending you deserve.

Dear Rocco,
My girlfriend owes me a lot of money. Over the course of our relationship I’ve helped her pay down her credit card debt, buy occasional groceries and even pay the electric bill as well as foot the bill whenever we go out (which I expect), but it’s gotten to the point where she no longer asks me to borrow money, she just tells me what she needs. What should I do?

Dear TC,
Your girlfriend doesn’t look at you as a mate, instead she sees you as her personal ATM. Sure in relationships there is a little give and take but all she seems to do is take. I’m guessing she has some redeeming qualities otherwise you would have kicked her to the curb already. Why are you dating her? Looks? That’s shallow? Smarts? Are you actually dumb or suffer from low self-esteem and think you need to be around smarter people? Is it the sex? Watch porn and save yourself the time, humiliation, chance at a STD and money. Unless this is a relationship you see leading somewhere I don’t understand why you may be throwing good money after bad. All relationships are built on two-way streets. Were you trying to buy her affection or instead of being fully into the relationship you are using money as a buffer so you don’t have to be totally open and honest with her? You need to take a deep, long hard look at yourself the way you are looking at your bank statement.

Dear Rocco,
Is staring at my phone late at night making me go blind? I sometimes see spots and my vision is a little blurred after late nights on my phone. What do you think?

Dear JP,
If you’re going blind it is most likely hereditary, the result of a traumatic injury (usually to the brain) and the side affect of a traumatic illness. And unlike what our parents used to tell us, it’s not from touching ourselves. Extended staring at any kind of video screen – be it a computer or smartphone is not good for you. That’s why they say all things in moderation. You’re more likely to melt your brain staring at your phone than living in the real world. See an eye doctor if you’re actually worried.

Dear Rocco,
My co-worker got a promotion over me but I do more work than them. Not only that, I’ve been here longer. Why does this always happen to me? It’s starting to get to me emotionally. I’ve busted my behind for this company and helped in other departments when needed. When I asked a supervisor about it they said the person that got the promotion sounded more motivated. Really?

Dear SM,
Welcome to the real world. It doesn’t matter how much you know it’s who you blow as the saying goes. Yes, you can still sleep your way to the top even in a non-physical sense. Personality matters as much as skill and talent. That’s why the best sales people have clients follow them from company to company without it even mattering what it is they’re selling. That being said, I think it’s B.S. you didn’t get the promotion. It might be time to look elsewhere for employment if you’re not being respected and as fast as our economy is growing now, it’s a good time to look around and see what else is around. Of course it wouldn’t hurt to take an honest look at yourself and figure out why your current bosses are ignoring you.

Rocco is a common sense, tell-it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at