War Of The Sexes

Dear Rocco,
Why do so many people seem to stay in bad relationships? I’m not talking about physical abuse as much as I am emotional, which in my opinion can inflict in some cases more pain than physical pain. I see too many friends with someone they no longer love but don’t seem able or willing to leave despite their constant complaining and valid concerns?

Dear GK,
The trouble with society today is it is too way to get married and divorced. In centuries past approval was needed and often a dowry (but not in the states) to procure a marriage. Marriage was more than being in love. It goes back centuries and initially it was part of survival and crating a family. It brought two people, two families and traditionally the community. It was indeed about being “fruitful and multiplying” because that’s how families grew and passed on knowledge among other things. In latter 20th century marriage was less of a sacred thing, but more of a public/private event. And divorce was only for the Hollywood elites and frowned upon by society. You rarely had uncontested divorces and a divorce used to take months or longer, while today you can get one on your lunch break. The problem with all of this is that people confused lust with actual love. There is a difference. Lust fades and lessens over time and love is more than just a physical act. People get married for the weirdest reasons and often find themselves in a bad relationship once the sex starts to get old. Depending on the individual there are so many reasons people cling that allow many a psychologist to make a fortune being in practices. Everything from mommy and daddy issues, an emotional trauma as a youth or the fact some people like dating older people (both men and women) because they were close to a parent and are looking and hoping for the same connection they once had. That’s why back in the day there was a courtship period to see if a couple was compatible and suggested they date multiple people (dating, not sleeping with) before settling down. While the world has evolved unfortunately our emotions haven’t.

Dear Rocco,
There has been a war between the sexes for as long as I can remember. I agree with equal pay and everything else and even believe women as a whole are much more smarter than men. Who do you think is smarter? Men or women?

Dear MS,
Neither. They’re both f**king stupid and this world is doomed – just look around you.

Dear Rocco,
My girlfriend’s birthday is coming up and I don’t know what to give her. I want her to never forget the evening. Do you have any ideas?

Dear SH,
The fact you have to ask me – a total stranger this question only proves you know nothing about your girlfriend. How can you not know anything about someone you are dating unless they’re living a secret life elsewhere. But of course as stupid you seem to be it wouldn’t surprise me. In the past when I started dated someone, I would allow them to speak, whereas you seem awfully self-centered and can’t probably stop talking about you. From the first date I ask questions about favorite colors, movies and bands. I take it you must have never been to her place since you paid no attention to how she decorates and what her style is. Get your head out of your ass and listen to her, observe and pay attention. Of course you can always send flowers (a bonus if you know her favorite but obviously you have no clue) roses tend to be a safe bet. Take her to dinner and make the night all about her. It’s amazing how much you can learn by just paying attention.

Dear Rocco,
My boyfriend of four years told me he was invited by his cousin to go to Florida in two weeks. I think the cousin was going to be doing a lot of girl watching, partying, and going to the beaches. His cousin is a recently divorced and very bitter towards woman. He is 48 and I wish he would act his age. He has a real chip on his shoulders and a mouth to match.

Dear VM,
From what you stated, I think you have nothing to worry about. At his age and attitude all he’ll be doing is watching and not participating. Your boyfriend might want to go in case his cousin needs bail money – just sayin’.

Rocco is a common sense, tell-it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at goaskrocco@yahoo.com.