Get Of My Couch

You don’t have to be as old as Paul Burke to be angry about everything. Just look around you – there are tons of things to piss someone off.

Why is this town so turnaround happy? The latest one on Mountain Creek Road is a fiasco. It’s not even centered properly and a truck literally cannot fit their load around it, so I’m guessing they just drive over them. I’ve thought about it myself. Did they have extra concrete from another city assignment and decided, “Hey, this looks like a good idea”? Are they too cheap to put up stop signs or dare I say a red light if it is so badly needed?

The only thing good about the bike lanes downtown is that it got rid of most of those metered parking spaces where you had to back your car into it. People in Chattanooga aren’t very good at driving forward and you wanted them to back into a space downtown? It figures the engineer back in the day that came up with that ideas wore an eye patch. He has not business of driving let along telling us how to park.

Speaking of cyclists, I never met a bigger bunch of self-serving, pompous jerks. They think they actually own the road and have convinced the “powers-that-be” they do as they now have designated bike lanes all over town. I still run into them on the road (not literally). On one occasion I had one cyclist look over his shoulder and give me a smug look and then move further towards the center of the lane instead of moving closer to the shoulder so I could safely pass. Fortunately I have a pal in law enforcement who doesn’t like them much either – or at least their attitude. He actually pulled one over for running a red light at a busy intersection downtown. He told the offending cyclist that he wasn’t above the law and had to stop at a red light like everyone else. Good for him.

The best way to get rid of someone is to loan them money.

This BID thing is a joke as is a lot of the downtown settlement. Downtown in a city is a place of commerce not for everyone to live. Quit trying to turn it into a suburb. If you want to live in a suburb atmosphere love in a suburb or otherwise expect the early and late noise, pollution, traffic, etc. be. If you want to live conveniently to your business why don’t you ride your bike to work instead of living there? There are plenty of bike lanes for you commute no one uses.

Where exactly is the shore on the North Shore?

How can we still call ourselves the “Scenic City” when all the overdeveloping along the river and other unincorporated has made it impossible to see any of the natural wonders of Chattanooga without actually owning them?

Congratulations to WFLI’s Gene Lovin for his induction into the Broadcaster’s Hall of Fame. Good people actually still get rewarded at times.

Why do we need to be told the weather three or four different times during a broadcast? Does it change that often in 30 minutes? It’s not like the forecasts are ever complete accurate. And why is the 11 o’clock news five minutes longer. It’s not like there is enough news to fill up 20, let along 30 or 35 minutes. It’s supposed to be news, not fluff time or pimp our advertiser time. On the latter that is why they are supposed to advertise. Unless it is truly news of what they are doing leave the human-interest stories to special shows/infomercials, magazines, websites, etc.

With all the boom in quality concerts in the city why aren’t there more concert reviews posted. TFP used to be good back in the day especially when all the great concerts were at the “Round House” to review them.

Speaking of which, why doesn’t McKenzie Arena book any more concerts?

UTC has a “beach volleyball” team? Where are the home matches?

If gold is really as valuable as they say why are so many people willing to sell it for cash? If something is of value aren’t you inclined to keep it?

Baseball remains a dying sport unfortunately. The Atlanta Braves are living proof. The new SunTrust park is two-thirds the size of Turner Field – and still isn’t a sellout every game.

I’m tired of people who pay no taxes telling me mine should be raised.

If you want to raise my taxes for the school system you need to show me exactly what it is being spent on and not just administrative fees.

Why can’t or don’t parents raise their children? It’s not the responsibility of the schools, neighbors or even community to do so. You brought that life into this world so you need to be accountable to and for them.

If it’s your body, you’re choice why are my tax dollars expected to pay for that choice?

Gordon Lightfoot got rescheduled for October 8 at the Tivoli. Glad to see despite some health shortfalls he’s still going strong at 80.

One of my guilty pleasures is looking at all the event pictures in Chatter. One thing is for sure – there is a lot of Botox out there. I bet some of these broads still can wipe that smile off their face.

I miss the good old days when gay meant happy, queer meant strange and fag was British slang for a cigarette.

Until next time…

Not Paul Burke