Quit looking in the rearview mirror! When you are driving and look in your rear view mirror to see what is behind you, your eyes are not focused on what is right in front of you. Hence the reason when driving, we typically only look in the rearview mirror for a few seconds at a time, if at all. We do this because we know that the situation on the road in front of us can change instantly. (which is why you shouldn’t text and drive people, sorry not sorry) Your surroundings can change in a matter of seconds. Therefore we are paying attention to the road ahead. So why in life do we waste time focusing on events and/or moments from the past to the point we can not see what is going on today. Let me say this another way. When you are fretting over events that happened in your past, you are consumed with events that you can’t change and are missing out on the present. Your life is moving on, with or without you. Life is like the car behind you on the road that speeds past, in a passing zone of course, because you are going so slow. Even if you are going the speed limit. You are completely distracted by a previous incident that you are no longer aware you are the person creating more wrecks.
If you are the person in the car driving past everyone on the road because they are going so slow, you my friend, need to slow down. You are the other end of the spectrum, so to speak. Quit being in such a hurry that you can’t embrace the moment directly in front of you. You are so consumed with worry or fear that you are constantly running from one place to another. (You could also be running late. You running behind is the cause of not being in the present, and always focusing on what’s next.) The fear of missing out on something that everyone else has is consuming your life. You are always focused on your next move, permanently living in the future. Never fully being present, and always distracted. Your mind is being pulled in multiple directions, never accomplishing a complete thought before it bounces into another lane. You are then left feeling drained and unworthy. As if you cannot become successful in life no matter how prepared you are. Slow down.
Quit cheating yourself and everyone around you. The people in your life deserve more from you. You deserve more from yourself. Be intentional with your time. Your people want you to be present and aware. And when I say present I am mean the quality of time and the attention you give is more important than the quantity of time. If you are only able to see your people for a short period of time, cherish that time. Don’t fret over when you will see them again, or complain about how short your time is. Be intentional with the time you are given. Fill that time making memories that will last a lifetime. I will say it again, it is more about quality than quantity.
More is not always better and the sooner we realize that concept the happier our lives can be. We have been convinced that we can buy unlimited access to our wants. Moreso that we deserve all of our wants. That happiness can be bought… But the reality is there is no such access. When we have unlimited access to something we take that thing (relationship, toy, job, etc,) for granted. We set that “thing” to the side until we are ready for it. We assume that person/thing will always be there even though we have either been too busy looking back or hustling into the future. Either way you have wasted the present.
Everything comes at a cost. Sometimes you can buy your wants with money but often times happiness (satisfaction) comes with a price tag that money can’t buy. What are you willing to risk? Are you willing to risk everything that is precious to you? Are you gambling your future with the present or wasting the present looking into the past? Learn to control what you can control. Invest quality time into the things that bring you joy and happiness. If something is important enough to you, you will find the time. Again it isn’t about the quantity of time or attention you give, it is the quality that matters.
Here we are at the beginning of December, full fledged Holiday Hustle. This season, instead of spending your time shopping and wrapping gifts, make yourself the gift. Be present. High end toys and expensive gadgets have a short shelf life before they are forgotten about. Since we do not know what our shelf life is, make the most of the moments in front of you. It may be your last encounter. This year I am saving myself the added stress of shopping for family and friends, no one is getting a present. Sorry, parents! Just me, whether it is a lunch or dinner date, a girl’s night out, or an extended family outing that is what this season will be about. Memories last forever, so why not make some good memories starting today.
Objects in the Rearview Mirror- Meatloaf