My Best Friend’s Girlfriend

Dear Rocco,
I am currently involved with a woman and love her very much. Recently I have started having feelings for her best friend. What do I do?

Dear BW,
Do you know the different between love and lust? What attracted you to the woman you say you love? There is more to love than a sexual or visual connection. It’s a feeling deep down in your soul that goes way beyond any attraction. You should decide what you are actually looking for in a relationship and make sure the friend is not some passing fancy. It is common to have a fondness of friends of your significant other. There’s a reason they are her friend and a reason why she has feelings for you. Often they have similar tastes and if you all get along it means you are a good fit. Unless there are serious flaws in your current relationship, if you can’t make it work with her, it is very doubtful it will work out with her friend you are infatuated with. Sure, it happens all the time in movies, but that sells tickets and is not steeped in reality.

Dear Rocco,
Last year I met a guy and we slept together. I became pregnant. I was 14 and he was 15. Our parents found out and his parents told him never to see me again because it probable wasn’t his baby. He broke off with me. I lost the baby in my fourth month. I haven’t really seen the guy in over a year. I recently ran into him at a school function. I still love him, Rocco. I want to try to get back with him. My friends think I am crazy, they think I deserve better. But I love him. Please help me.

Dear JV,
I have said this a million times and hopefully someone will finally listen: There is a difference between sex and love. I hate to tell, you but he used you like his personal chew toy and took advantage of feeling you have for him (that you don’t really understand – trust me) to get in your pants. If he really “loved” you it wouldn’t matter what his parents told him. I seriously don’t think you know what true love is at your age. I love French fries more than anything, but I don’t plan on marrying an order. You are mistaking an emotional tie or a prurient attraction for what love actually is. No offense, but I would stay off the market for a while. At your young age you are damaged goods having been knocked up already (the best way to describe it), and other guys will think you’re an easy target for sex or will be intimidated by the fact you got pregnant already. I’m sure the attention was great he gave you but take up a better hobby until you are more mature – both physically and emotional.

Dear Rocco,
There was a terrible crime in our community last year and it is now coming to trial. I cannot believe that people can treat each other so inhumanly. It seems as though more people, especially young and troubled kids, are lashing out against anyone or anything they can catch at a disadvantage: children or animals, religious icons or racial differences. Why are these kids doing this?

Dear TW,
It is because our society teaches people to be responsible for their actions. If people were you could put half the law firms out of business. What we have now is a culture of victimhood and finger pointing. Add to the concerted attack on religion – more specifically Christianity. We need to bring back accountability.

Dear Rocco,
I have a boss that I just cannot stand! He was just recently made my boss and we just do not get along. I have been with the company much longer but he acts like he knows everything! He is always giving me more work than I can handle and even complains to other workers about me. I can’t go to HIS boss because they seem like best buddies. I would quit, but I am just a few months from getting an excellent raise and some new benefits that I have been promised. If I left I would have to start all over at a new job at much less pay. What can I do?

Dear HL,
Stand up for yourself and confront him without being hostile. You need to clear the air and put ever. Tell your boss your feelings and that you want to work things out because you love your job and have a lot invested in it. Unless he’s a total tool he should be willing to work with you, providing you’re a valuable asset to the company. If all else fails start looking for another job. It’s a workers’ market and you can find a job somewhere you can be appreciated.

Rocco is a common sense, tell-it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at